I Saw Your Profile Page 3

  “There was no murder scene, Janelle. This isn’t TV. This is my life. Why are you lying? I was mad, yes. And not just for me. For you, for Nicole, for everybody. And I wanted to get back at him, but I didn’t mean for him to die.”

  “But he did die. And I’m not the one you need to convince. Tell it to the cops.”

  Janelle hung up.

  “You fucking bitch!” Arianna yelled.

  Arianna spoke Nicole’s name into the receiver.

  “Hey lady, it’s Ari. What’s up?”

  “Hey yourself. Nothing much. I’m getting ready to take Jay to basketball practice. How are you?”

  “Not good. Your friend sicced LAPD on me.”

  “What! You’re kidding. I thought she was just talking stupid. I didn’t think she was serious.”

  “Neither did I, but apparently she was.”

  “What are you going to do?”

  “I have no choice but to talk to them, eventually. I bought a new hard drive today and I’m going to get rid of the old one. I suggest you do the same.”

  “Why?”

  “Girl, why do you think? You probably have more shit on your computer than anybody else involved in this mess. And right now, it’s all evidence. Don’t think for a minute that bitch didn’t give your name to the police.”

  “But I didn’t do anything. If it’s evidence, it’s evidence of the dirt he was doing.”

  “Yeah, but it’s also evidence that we found out about his dirt and we wanted to make him pay for it. Just do it, Nicole.”

  “You mean you wanted to make him pay. I’ve got a lot of important stuff on my computer. Work stuff.”

  “Okay, so it’s evidence against me. Can you help me out then? Back up your hard drive. Print the stuff out. Copy it to CD or floppy. Then get rid of it.”

  “I’ll think about it and call you later.”

  Arianna made a U-turn. She decided to make a stop at the liquor store before going home. She bought a bottle of top shelf tequila and a lemon.

  The phone was ringing as Arianna unlocked her front door. She ignored it and told the kids to do the same. She threw the bags on the couch and went to the kitchen. She made dinner, helped Akilah with her homework, and sent her to the shower. They had their nightly mother-daughter ritual of a bedtime story and prayers before she tucked Akilah in.

  Amir was his usual anti-social self, locked in his room where his CD player, telephone, computer, and video games were all the company he needed.

  It was time for that drink.

  She cut the lemon into slices and put them in a small bowl. A shot glass and saltshaker completed her supplies.

  “Lick it. Sip it. Suck it.”

  Three shots later and she was ready. First, she printed the emails, then copied and pasted them into word processing files. She burned them and the rest of her files onto a CD. She got a Phillips screwdriver and removed the back of the computer tower, installed the new hard drive and copied the programs from the old one onto it.

  She used a hammer to beat the life out of the old hard drive. Anyone who found it would be unable to hook it to a computer. The old hard drive found a new home at the bottom of a trashcan.

  The printouts were divided into two stacks on the living room floor; work and personal. The work files were stuffed into a manila folder. She sat with the personal ones, sorting them by category and date.

  They went back a year to when she first moved to Philadelphia and bought the new computer. She read the emails and recalled her first lonely months in the city. The ones that prompted her to join LoveMeBlack.com and put her on the path to meet Nicole and Janelle. The same path that put her on the road to possibly becoming a murder suspect.

  Chapter Four

  Arianna learned about LoveMeBlack.com from her girlfriend, Tania.

  Tania hadn’t had much luck finding Mr. Right on earth, so she decided to search in cyber space.

  Tania spent hours peering at a computer screen salivating over pictures and poring over profiles of men. She sent out a lot of emails, and got a few dates and some booty calls, but nothing even slightly resembling a real relationship.

  For Arianna, just having someone to communicate with would be enough. Her plan was to put up a profile and see what happened. No expectations.

  She had no idea the drama that short profile would bring into her life.

  Hello LoveMeBlack.com. My name is Arianna. I'm 37, 5’5, single with two children. I live in Philadelphia and I’m new to the area. Looking to make friends and meet new people. Email me to find out more.

  She uploaded a picture in which she wore a sexy, red gown with spaghetti straps. Nothing revealing like the bathing suits and nightgowns a lot of women wore in the pictures that accompanied their profiles, but enough to get noticed.

  Afterwards, she emailed several sisters on the site who lived in the area, asking for help finding a hairdresser, someone to braid her daughter’s hair, and a few other things a woman needed to know when she moved someplace new. She thought at least one of them might provide some information, maybe even extend an offer of friendship. She got an icy reception. The sisters let her know with the quickness they were online to meet brothers and brothers only.

  Arianna figured they thought she was a lesbian, so she let it go.

  She resigned herself to the fact that any friends she made would definitely be of the male persuasion. A week after she put up her profile, her inbox was deluged.

  She spent half her time trying to weed out the crazies, deleting emails from men who admitted they were going through drama, those in the service stationed thousands of miles away, youngsters and white guys.

  The downright ignorant guys really ticked her off. One sent her a naked picture of himself with his dick dripping with cum. He’d written, “This is what is waiting for you.”

  Does he really think I’m going to jump at the chance?

  There also were the brothers who sent one-sentence emails like, “You’re a cutey, holla back,” and “You wanna be my shorty?”

  As if.

  Some fools just sent her their phone number.

  Like I’m gonna up and call a brutha I don’t know.

  Kenny Washington was the first man she met online who could hold her attention longer than five minutes. He was an accountant by day and a jazz drummer by night. According to the pictures he emailed her, he was slender, average height with a medium build, and nice looking with a low cut ‘fro.

  Arianna’s first Internet date took her to Zanzibar Blue on South Broad Street in Center City.

  She had been there more than thirty minutes, checking her watch every five.

  Her reservation was for seven. It was almost eight.

  It took her all night to figure out what she was going to wear for this not-so-blind date. Her choice was a black wrap-around dress and high-heeled black leather boots, the kind that hugs your legs like a glove and stop just below the knee. The dress criss-crossed her chest leaving a slight hint of cleavage, enough to be sexy without being sleazy.

  Under the table, her leg was shaking to the sounds of water and ice splashing glass and the hushed tones of conversation. She’d practically memorized the menu waiting for Kenny to arrive.

  She grabbed the silver ankh resting just above the crevice between her breasts and rubbed it between her fingers as she scanned the dimly lit room. The tables were decorated in bright red tablecloths and candles.

  It was packed as usual. The bassist was playing scales on his acoustic instrument as the band set up for its eight o’clock show. There were lots of couples. Couples in love. Couples in lust. Couples just going through the motions because they believed anything was better than being single.

  It was easy to tell the new lovers from those who could finish each other’s sentences. Those just discovering each other touched, made eye contact and smiled. The others gazed around the room lost for words. Some paid more attention to the black-and-white photographs that adorned the walls than the person in fron
t of them.

  There was one couple that caught her eye. They were young, probably mid-twenties. From their awkward behavior, she figured it must have been their first date. They didn’t even speak to each other, keeping their heads buried in their plates.

  You’d think one of them would know how to keep the conversation going.

  Arianna wanted to be somewhere in the middle, a good ways past awkward silence and butterflies in the stomach, yet hundreds of miles from the off ramp of monotony. After Michael died, she felt like she’d been at a rest stop on Relationship Highway.

  She ordered a cup of herbal tea to relax. Kenny probably had a good reason for being late and she didn’t want to make a bad first impression with her impatience.

  Not that it would be a first impression. They had been communicating for weeks. Instant messages, emails, the phone. This would be their first face-to-face meeting.

  “I believe this is your party, sir?” The host, a handsome mocha brother with wavy hair, walked Kenny to the table.

  “Thank you. Arianna, it’s nice to finally meet you.”

  Her eyes locked on the round figure in front of her. She quickly scanned every inch of his two hundred and sixty pound frame. His complexion was the color of peanut butter and just as smooth, but he looked like he’d eaten several peanut butter sandwiches too many.

  After what had to be the longest five seconds of her life, she stood up to greet him. He reached out his arms for a hug. She gave him her hand instead.

  “How are you, Kenny?”

  “Fine,” he said, disappointed by her welcome. “All I get is a handshake? I know it’s our first time meeting, but I thought we were way past that.”

  She kissed him on the cheek. He smelled good. She recognized the scent. Perry Ellis. Michael’s favorite.

  “That’s a little better.”

  He was lucky she gave him that.

  He squeezed into the chair across from her, unbuttoning his navy blue, double-breasted suit jacket. He had obviously bought his starched white shirt ten or fifteen pounds earlier because he had gap-osis. His gut looked like it was trying to escape and take at least two buttons with it.

  “I see you ordered already.”

  “Just tea. I tried to wait for you, but…”

  “It’s cool. Sorry I’m late, but traffic on ninety-five was a mess as usual.”

  Kenny had driven from Delaware. He worked for one of the big credit card companies headquartered there. The drive usually took about an hour, but during rush hour it could easily double, especially on Fridays.

  He was one of her few online friends who lived close enough to actually make a face-to-face meeting.

  She couldn’t believe how big he was or that he never clued her in during any of their dozens of conversations.

  “I’m glad we finally get the chance to meet,” he continued. “You look great by the way, much prettier in person than in the pictures you sent.”

  “Thank you.” She damn near bit her tongue holding it in.

  He has the nerve to mention the pictures? Ain’t this some shit. The ones he sent must’ve been taken in high school.

  Instead she said, “I hear this band is good. Ever heard of them?”

  “Yeah. I’ve played a couple of gigs with the guy on the sax. They’re cool. So where’d we leave off on the phone last night?”

  “We were back on the age thing.”

  The waiter, a tall white man with slick black hair who could pass for a model, came and took their drink order. Arianna asked for white wine. Kenny requested a beer.

  Kenny continued. “So what do you have against younger men? You were ready to blow me off once you found out how old I was.”

  “I’ve got almost ten years on you. I’ve never dated a man that young.”

  “We’re both grown. Age is just a number.”

  “Guys your age usually want a wife and kids. I can only provide half that package and it ain’t the kids half.”

  “Not all guys want that.”

  “Do you?”

  “Haven’t made up my mind yet.”

  “Most do. And since I’m not trying to get back on the mommy track, there’s no point in getting serious with a guy who does.”

  The waiter brought their drinks. “Have you decided on your meal or do you need more time?”

  Kenny gestured at Arianna. She chose the catfish. He got the filet mignon.

  The band started to play. They listened without speaking, sipping their drinks and tapping their fingers on the table to the beat.

  As Arianna stared at Kenny, her mind wandered back to college where she met Frank Crawford, who was Kenny’s size. They sat next to each other in her behavioral psychology class. She had thought about becoming a psychiatrist, but all those years of medical school seemed like a lifetime so she majored in journalism instead and minored in psychology.

  She and Frank became study partners. He had a great sense of humor and she had a lot of fun with him. So much fun, that eventually, she stopped paying attention to his looks, convincing herself that size didn’t matter.

  One night, they were in her dorm having the nature versus nurture debate with her on the side of nurture. She was making a passionate speech about how boys are socialized to be macho and aloof while girls are taught to be loving and affectionate. He shut her up by kissing her.

  Before Arianna knew it, the lights were off and he was inside her. He was pumping up and down and breathing heavily, but she couldn’t feel a thing.

  Less than five minutes later, he rolled over out of breath and sweaty like he was Michael Johnson winning the 200-meter dash when he hadn’t even made it off the starting block.

  And to make matters worse, he snored loud, keeping her awake. For Arianna, no orgasm and no sleep was not a good combination.

  It would have been a one-time thing, but Frank made her a mother that night so she stayed with him. Responsibility took away his sense of humor and eventually he left her and Amir.

  She looked at Kenny. No way.

  “Arianna, did you hear me?” Kenny had asked her a question and was awaiting a reply.

  “I’m sorry. What did you say?”

  “How many guys have you gone out with that you met online?”

  “You’re my first. How about you?

  “I haven’t dated any guys, but you’re my first woman.”

  Arianna laughed. “So you’re a virgin?”

  Kenny smiled. “So does this mean I’m one of many more dates to come or the rest didn’t make the cut? ”

  “The second one.”

  “So you’re a tough woman to please?”

  “Yeah, but they were real losers.”

  “Do tell.”

  Arianna told him about the crazy emails she’d received and they laughed their way through dinner. Kenny had no idea he would be the subject of such laughter when Arianna recounted the story of their first meeting and how he’d surprised her.

  They stayed for the band’s second set, enjoying the music, more drinks, dessert and conversation. Arianna liked Kenny, despite her efforts not to. Still, she couldn’t get past his girth or his deception about it.

  The date ended around midnight. Kenny paid the check and walked Arianna to her car. The Avenue of the Arts, as Broad Street was known, was almost as busy as rush hour when workers spilled out from City Hall and the many office buildings that lined the street. The sidewalks were filled with people enjoying Philly nightlife.

  As they headed to the parking garage, he silently eased her hand into his. Arianna looked above the skyscrapers at the stars, sparkling like diamonds in the sky, wondering how to let Kenny down and feeling guilty for wanting to.

  Her sexual appetite was as strong as any man’s and she needed someone who could satisfy that constant hunger. Frank never did, and she doubted Kenny could.

  She was torn. Holding his hand and thinking about spending time with him again gave her a warm feeling inside. The thought of seeing his naked body made her eyes hu
rt.

  “When can I see you again?” Kenny asked as they stood in front of the garage.

  “What did you have in mind?”

  “How about a movie or something?”

  Arianna struggled to find words that would let him down easy.

  “I want to see you again, but I have to be honest and tell you I don’t think we’re going to be more than friends. Do you still want to see me?”

  “Wow,” Kenny said, dropping her hand. “I didn’t see that one coming. I thought we made a connection. Guess I was wrong.”

  “We did. But I don’t think we have the kind of chemistry you need for a romantic relationship.”

  He frowned, narrowing his eyes in confusion.

  “Chemistry? I don’t get it. We had chemistry during all those long conversations on the phone, didn’t we? What’s changed?”

  She could hear the irritation in his voice. She wanted to snap and tell him she was the one who had the right to be upset. Instead, she played it cool.

  “Chemistry on the phone isn’t the same as a physical attraction, Kenny. And it’s not like I wasn’t honest with you from Jump Street about us not getting serious. And I really would like for us to be friends.”

  He calmed down.

  “You’re right. You have been honest. But I won’t lie and say I’m not disappointed. I thought we had something going and I really wanted to see where it would lead. Now, you want to cut it off before it even gets started.”

  “Why do you say that? What’s so wrong with being friends?” She felt bad for him, but not bad enough to date him out of pity. She didn’t want to lead him on. “I don’t know about you, Kenny, but I could always use a friend. We can still go to the movies and do other things together. But if you don’t want to, that’s fine.”

  “Let me think about it. I wasn’t exactly looking for friendship. Not with you anyway.”

  He took her parking ticket and gave it to the attendant, a short Hispanic man. They waited for the car in awkward silence, Kenny pacing back and forth with his hands in his pockets. Arianna watched him, feeling guilty one minute for being shallow; and angry the next because he put her in such an awkward position.