I Saw Your Profile Read online

  Chauncey’s eyes bulged like a light bulb in a lamp socket.

  “You’ve been reading my email. How dare you invade my privacy like that!”

  “Privacy!” Nicole screamed, spraying liquid anger in Chauncey’s face. “That’s my damn email account. You cheat on me and have the nerve to stand there acting like I did something wrong!”

  His anger quickly turned to pacification.

  “You’re right, daahling. I’m sorry. But, you must believe that I love you. Those women mean absolutely nothing to me.”

  Candace rushed to Nicole’s side. She pulled down eighty thousand a year as an accountant, socialized with Maryland’s black elite and spoke fluent French. Yet, she could flip the script on a dime.

  “Love! You love her?” she yelled. “Nigga you can’t spell the word ‘love.’ I smelled your game from the get-go. Now Nicole is hip to it and it’s time for you to get to steppin.”

  “This is none of your concern, Candace,” said Chauncey. “This is between myself and Lady Nicole and I will thank you to mind your business.”

  He turned to Nicole. “Let’s go in the house and discuss this like reasonable adults. We are making spectacles of ourselves out here.”

  The neighbors were watching the show. Some were peeking from their windows. Others stood in their driveways pretending to do yard work. Donna Blake had a front row seat on her porch, catching the drama from a rocking chair. There was no shame in her nosy game. She had dialed 911 and had her thumb on the talk button ready to press it at the first sign of violence.

  Nicole lowered her voice. “You’re not getting in my house ever again. Let me know where to send your shit.”

  She brushed past him and headed up the stairs.

  Candace followed, sneering at Chauncey.

  He ignored her, focusing his attention on Nicole.

  “Just like that? Daahling, we are to be married in a few months,” he said, sounding defeated. “Are you just going to throw that all away?”

  Nicole was crying. “Married? You honestly think I would still marry you? It may have taken me a while to wake up, but I’m wide-awake now. I don’t care where you go, just get the hell out of my driveway and stay out of my life.”

  Candace waved at him. “You heard her. Buh bye.”

  Chauncey rolled his eyes. “Why are you letting this woman have so much influence over you, Nicole? She doesn’t have a man so she wants you to be alone, too.”

  Candace scoffed. “Alone is better than what she’s got now.”

  Nicole stopped at the landing. “She’s right. I’d choose alone over you any day. I’m sure you can charm your way into another place to live. By the way, I turned off the cell phone and cancelled your email account. You’ll have to find another way to stay in contact with your women. I have a restraining order, too, so don’t show up here again. I’ll call the cops and tell them you’re in this country illegally.”

  Chauncey opened his mouth to speak, but quickly closed it in surrender. He slunk toward his truck, slowly opening the door as though he expected Nicole to change her mind and stop him.

  She watched him through her screen door, her eyes filled with pain and disappointment.

  Chauncey turned on the engine and slowly pulled out of the driveway.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Alicia Cockfield didn’t have much use for her younger brother and she had no problem telling him.

  “I can’t believe it took her this long to figure you out. These American women are so damned stupid. That or your dick is made of gold. Either way, I don’t care. You’ve got two weeks, Chauncey. Two. And you’re out of here. I don’t want anything to do with you and your drama. The last time a woman kicked your ass out, you stayed here for two years.”

  His charm was useless here. In this house, Chauncey Cockfield was naked, exposed for the fraud he was.

  “So what are you complaining about?” he said. “I paid you rent and bought my own food.”

  “Only because I don’t let you get away with the shit your wives and girlfriends do.”

  “They get the pleasure of my company and I don’t take anything that they are not more than happy to give. I’ve committed no crime. Stop talking to me like I’m some sort of criminal.”

  Alicia’s criticism of her younger sibling was caustic. In her mind he was little more than a cold, calculating manipulator who had the intelligence to be so much more.

  “You went to London and got a degree and for what? So you could leech off women? Is that what they taught you at that fancy college? You’ve had more than enough time to get yourself together since you lost your computer business in London and look at you. Right back where you started. Without a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out of. Mother would kill you if she knew what you’ve really been doing since you came to the states.”

  Chauncey sneered at his sister from his seat at the kitchen table of her Flatbush Avenue apartment. She was standing at the counter with her back to him making her lunch before heading to work. She was heavy, like their mother; dark like him.

  “I’m a grown man, Alicia,” he said. “Mother doesn’t scare me anymore. That witch will never put her hands on me again.”

  “Listen to you. How can you talk about your own mother like that? She loves you. She loves all of us.”

  “Is that what you call it? Love? I call it abuse.”

  “Stop exaggerating. We all got whipped. It’s called discipline. If more of these American kids got beat once in a while, they would be better off.”

  “There’s a difference between being disciplined and getting a beat down. You and Patrick were disciplined. I received the latter.”

  Alicia sighed. “All right. Maybe you got beat harder than we did. But you were badder than we were.”

  “No. I looked just like our father. I see why he left her fat ass.”

  “Whatever. You have an excuse for everything. Your mother didn’t love you enough and that’s why you treat women the way you do? That’s why you won’t get a job and be a man?”

  “I am a man. And you know I can’t get a job here without citizenship. You have papers. You can do whatever you like.”

  Alicia finished packing her lunch and sat down at the table, facing her brother.

  “Don’t give me that shit. Thousands of illegals find jobs in this country every day and so can you. Maybe not in computers, but you could make good money doing that personal trainer massage therapy stuff if you kept your mind on work instead of getting your dick wet.”

  “Don’t worry. I just need a few weeks to get on my feet and I’ll be heading back south.”

  Alicia rolled back her head. “You think that girl is going to take you back? I said they were stupid, not crazy. Give it up and get a real job, already. How long do think you can play this game? The Internet is only so big. Keep it up and you’re going to fuck over the wrong woman one day. Don’t make a mistake and run up on a woman like me ‘cause I’ll cut a nigga’s balls off for doing the shit you do.”

  Chauncey smiled and stood up. “That’s why I don’t bother with women like your crazy ass. I’m careful about the ones I choose. They’re educated. Mothers. Women with money in the bank who are not looking for a sugar daddy. They have too much to lose to do anything other than let me go. Reputations, children and jobs to protect. They are not these around-the-way girls you are used to here in Brooklyn who carry knives. I give them what they are looking for. Attention. Affection. Someone to love them and make them feel special. I fulfill their fantasies. When they are with me, they are happy.”

  Clank! Alicia slapped her heavy hands on the table in frustration. She stood up, pointing her thick index finger in Chauncey’s face.

  “You are so full of yourself! You don’t love them. You use them. And you are too greedy. You can’t be happy with one woman. You’ve got to have a damn harem. If you weren’t such a ho, you wouldn’t be here right now. You are so stupid. You could be legal if you treated your last wife right. You had an
other chance with Nicole and you blew that too. She was a good woman.”

  Chauncey was smug, unmoved by his sister’s angry outburst.

  “I have a lot of love to give – too much for just one woman to handle. Men weren’t meant to be monogamous. If you read your Bible, you’d know that polygamy was the natural order of things and back then women were fine with it. It wasn’t until the unrealistic idea of monogamy was introduced that we got all this drama.”

  Alicia popped Chauncey on his head.

  “Fine, be polygamous. Only tell the truth about it. And stop thinking women are supposed to provide for your needs. You’re supposed to provide for your own damn needs. As long as you stay here, you will. You get a bed for two weeks and that’s it. Don’t you eat a damn thing in this house you didn’t pay for and I hope you have money to put gas in that big ass truck ‘cause you won’t get any from me.”

  “Where did you learn to be so mean? They didn’t teach you that at Catholic school. How can you be so cold to your own brother?”

  “Save it. You can’t manipulate me. Brother or no brother, when you’re wrong, you’re wrong. And since you have memorized the Bible so well, remember what it says about an eye for eye. I would hate to be you on Judgment Day. Evah pig got a Saturday.”

  As Alicia left for work, Chauncey followed her to the door and closed it behind her. From the living room window, he watched her drive away. When she was out of sight, he went to her computer.

  He tried to check his email, but Nicole had changed the password. He tried Jamal Jr., Nicole’s middle name, her mother’s name, nothing worked. He gave up. She wouldn’t use anything he could figure out so easily. He couldn’t get to his email address book, so he created a free email account and contacted the few clients and lovers whose addresses he had memorized. He told them he would be out of town for a while, but he’d be in touch soon.

  He gave Nicole one last try. He pulled a calling card he’d bought from a rest stop from his wallet and used it to call what used to be home.

  He was pleased when she answered.

  “Daahling. It’s me, please don’t hang up.”

  “What do you want, Chauncey?”

  “I want to tell you how sorry I am for hurting you. I know I can’t make up for what I’ve done, but I wanted you to know that I do love and care for you. I don’t know why I did what I did. Believe me, those women meant absolutely nothing to me. If they did, I would never have asked you to marry me.”

  “You must really take me for a fool. You asked so you could get citizenship. You never loved me. I was your meal ticket. Nothing more. Nothing less. Get a life, Chauncey, and stay out of mine.”

  The next sound he heard was a dial tone. He called back. No answer.

  Chauncey stood up, slid a blue address book from his pocket, opened it to the JKL section and dialed Virginia. That’s where he would make his new home.

  When yuh en' got horse, ride cow.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Janelle dabbed vanilla musk in all the important spots. Behind her ears. On her wrists. Between her breasts and the insides of her thighs.

  Dinner was warming in the oven and Chauncey was on his way.

  He called and told her he had something important to discuss and wanted to do it in person. She hoped it was a marriage proposal.

  Her heart jumped when the doorbell rang.

  She opened the door to a bouquet of red and yellow roses. Chauncey lowered the bouquet and revealed himself. He was wearing a navy blue suit, white shirt and gray and blue tie.

  “Surprise.”

  She opened her mouth to speak, but he interrupted.

  “Wait. Don’t say a word. Let me speak, first.”

  He dropped to one knee.

  “Janelle Carter. Would you please do me the honor of being my wife? I know I don’t deserve you. But I promise, if you give me a chance to make up for all the disappointments, lonely nights and borrowed money, you won’t regret it. I will spend the rest of my days proving that you were right to put your faith in me.”

  Janelle’s mouth gaped, words frozen in her throat.

  “Well, don’t just leave me hanging, sweetie. Say something.”

  He handed her the flowers and pulled a fancy piece of paper from his back pocket.

  “Maybe this might help. I couldn’t find a card to express my feelings, so I wrote this myself. Let me read it to you. Janelle, you are the air that I breathe. Your love gives me purpose. It gives me hope. Thank you, for loving me.”

  She stood in the doorway, a broad smile on her face.

  He continued. “When we make love it’s as if our bodies are a musical instrument making a sweet melody. We never miss a beat or stray off key. Our lovemaking is like cool jazz on a hot summer night. No words, just the blending of sounds, striking just the right chords until we hit the high note, the crescendo of passion, the climax of love, the resolution of a beautiful song.”

  Puddles filled Janelle’s eyes. “That was so beautiful.”

  Chauncey stood up and she stepped aside to let him in. He grabbed her hand, led her inside and shut the door.

  He reached inside his front, right pocket and pulled out a small, velvet box.

  “I almost forgot the best part. I know this isn’t much. But it’s the best I can do now. I promise if you say yes, on our first anniversary, you will get at least a carat.”

  He slipped a quarter carat diamond with a simple gold band he’d bought at a Brooklyn pawnshop on the ring finger of her left hand. The stone was round and dull.

  Janelle’s response jumped from her lips before her brain could catch up. “Yes. I will marry you.”

  He led her to the bedroom. They kissed. He unbuttoned her blouse.

  Suddenly, she stopped him.

  “Why now?” she asked, gently pulling his hand from her breast. “What’s happened to make you suddenly want to get married?”

  Chauncey dropped his eyes, sighed, and sandwiched her right hand between his ten fingers.

  “I’ve gone through a lot lately, most of it bad. You are the best thing that has happened to me this past year and it took going through what I did to make me understand that. I’ve realized that it’s time for me to get my priorities in order.”

  He took a deep breath, looked down and continued.

  “Janelle, I haven’t been completely honest with you. If you’re going to be my wife, it’s time I start. When I finish, if you change your mind about getting married, I will understand.”

  Janelle pulled away from him. She nervously twisted the diamond on her finger wondering if it should stay there.

  “What is it?”

  Her new fiancé fidgeted on the bed next to her, struggling to find the right words.

  “The two people I have been living with aren’t my mother and my brother. They are my ex-girlfriend and her son. That’s the reason we always had to stay in hotels when you came to visit.”

  Janelle swallowed. Her intestines went acrobatic.

  “Your ex-girlfriend?” she said in disbelief.

  “We broke up a year ago, but we agreed to live together for the sake of convenience. I thought if I told you that I lived with a woman, especially my ex-girlfriend, you wouldn’t want to be with me. At any rate, the woman has gone mad. She found out about my relationship with you and she is having a jealous fit. I can’t believe she is behaving this way, but she kicked me out of the house and she has commandeered my email account. Has she been in contact with you?”

  “No. How would she know how to reach me?”

  “Your numbers are in my cell phone and she has stolen that as well. In fact, that’s how she found out about you. She listened to the messages you left for me.”

  “If you weren’t together, why does she care? And why would you keep me a secret in the first place? I have called your house a million times. Who did she think I was?”

  “A client. I didn’t tell her you were my girlfriend to keep things simple. I don’t care what women say, once you h
ave slept with them, you can never go back to just being friends. They are going to be jealous and compare themselves to every woman you get involved with after them.”

  “Then why did you even try?”

  “Like I said, convenience. Besides, as long as I didn’t flaunt my relationship in front of her, things went along fine.”

  “Why are you telling me now?”

  “Because, I don’t want there to be any more secrets between us. And I’m sure at some point, she is going to try and contact you and poison you against me.”

  Janelle pulled the microscopic diamond off, threw it on the floor and stomped toward the door, tears welling in her eyes.

  Chauncey grabbed her, keeping her from leaving the room.

  “Please don’t turn away from me,” he pleaded. “I love you, Janelle. I don’t want it to be over between us. I know I haven’t been there for you and I’ve lied to you, but it was because I didn’t want to lose you. I still don’t. I want us to be together. Can we start all over? Try again. This time with no secrets. My feelings for you are real. I never lied about that.”

  She wrestled herself from his grasp.

  “How can I ever trust anything you say to me? What’s your girlfriend’s name?”

  “You are my girlfriend. My ex-girlfriend’s name is Nicole.”

  Tears trickled down Janelle’s face. Her voice trembled. “Did you love her?”

  “I did once, but not anymore. I love you.”

  “Why? What about me do you love?”

  “What kind of question is that, sweetie?”

  “Just answer it, Chauncey. You could have any woman you want. Why do you suddenly want to marry me?”

  “Because you have a big heart, you love unconditionally, and I know we can be great together. You deserve happiness and if you let me, I can make you happy.”

  “It’s not because you need a place to live since what’s her name kicked you out?”

  Chauncey bent over and picked the ring off the floor. He then pulled Janelle to a seat next to him on the bed and held her hand.