I Saw Your Profile Page 11
Chauncey backed into the desk chair, folding his arms across his chest in a huff.
“How many times do I have to tell you that this business is word of mouth? Don’t you have friends and family who live in other states?”
“Your point?”
“Well so do our clients. When they’re impressed with our services, they tell other people. And those people don’t always live in the same city or the same state.”
Nicole wasn’t swayed. “Okay. I get that. But how on earth can you make money if you have to spend so much on traveling expenses? Airfare to California isn’t cheap. Neither are hotels and you have to eat while you’re there.”
“We don’t book parties unless we have at least twenty-five people and we share a motel room. It’s not like we stay at the Hilton.”
Once again, the issue of money struck a nerve with Nicole, and that nerve was becoming raw.
“Then tell me something. If these pamper parties are so profitable, how come I don’t see the fruits of all this labor? You said when you got on your feet; you’d split the mortgage with me. I’m still waiting. Between the parties and your regular personal training and massage sessions, it shouldn’t be a problem, but it always seems to be.”
Chauncey became indignant and raised his voice.
“Sweethaart, I pay bills here and I have my own bills. I’m sending my ex-wife five hundred dollars a month for Junior and sending money back to Barbados. My ex wants more. You want more. My mum wants more. I’m doing the best I can. ”
Nicole had met the family and she liked them. His mother and brother came to the states the first year they were together for Thanksgiving. His older sister, who lived in New York, drove down too.
They were nice enough, but she wondered why his able-bodied mother couldn’t take care of herself. She refused to back down.
“We’re about to get married. Child support, I understand. But your mother and your brother need to get better jobs or a new sugar daddy. You need to take care of me, the person who takes care of you.”
“The fuckall you do!”
By now, Nicole was yelling.
“Don’t start with that British fuck all mess, Chauncey. Every time we have this conversation, you get loud and feign all this righteous indignation. The bottom line is I pay the mortgage. I pay the insurance on your truck and I buy the food. The cell phone you use is in my name. Your email account is in my name. You pay a few bills around here, but it doesn’t even come close to what I do.”
“I do the best I can. Perhaps you should start keeping tally and give me a bill and I can start chipping away at it as I am able.”
Nicole turned around and shut the door; afraid their argument might wake Jay. She lowered her voice, but the sound of her heart pounding echoed inside her chest.
“That’s the point, Chauncey. You should be able to now. I didn’t mind helping you out when you first moved in because you needed time to build your business, but I didn’t sign on to do it forever.”
She took a deep breath and kept going. “With all these trips you’ve been taking and overnight parties you’ve been doing, business seems to be booming. And now we’re getting married. Marriage is a partnership, and I want a full partner. Not a silent one.”
Chauncey turned down the volume on his bogus anger, walked up to Nicole and ran his fingers through her braids.
“Where is all of this coming from, sweetie? What have I missed? You say you came down here because you wanted me and now we are talking about money.”
She pulled away. “You brought it up when you started talking about yet another last minute business trip. I just don’t understand the need for all this traveling or your constant lack of money, Chauncey. We need to settle this before we get married.”
“Fine, dear. We will settle it before you walk down the aisle, but not tonight. It’s late. Let’s just go to bed and talk about this another time.”
“Fine. I’m tired.”
“I don’t suppose you are still in the mood?”
“What do you think?”
Chauncey was gone when Nicole awoke the next morning. She was glad. She wasn’t ready yet to finish what she’d started the night before.
Chauncey had a way of manipulating Nicole when they argued. He was logical, objective, and cool. Never emotional. She would scream to the top of her lungs while he stared at her like she was crazy.
That day, she wanted to be more like him.
It was Saturday. Jay was in his room watching cartoons. Nicole poured a glass of orange juice and went to her desk. She wanted to review her monthly budget. When she sat down with Chauncey, she would show him their living expenses to the penny.
If they were going to get married, he would have to agree to split everything down the middle.
Her screensaver was scrolling across the monitor in three-D. Chauncey had forgotten to turn off the computer before they went to bed.
She shook the mouse to wake up the screen. The web site Chauncey had been searching was minimized. She restored it to full size.
You have 12 new messages.
It was Chauncey’s LoveMeBlack.com email screen.
Nicole’s eyes widened and she nearly spilled her juice. She thought he had given up his LoveMeBlack account when he moved in with her.
She opened the first message. A bell rang in her head, beginning a pounding in her chest.
Thanks for responding to my profile and thanks for the compliment. I’m a social worker for the state of Virginia. I’m single. I have a 12-year-old daughter. I love to cook and watch movies. I have an extensive collection of old movies and I love to listen to music. Tell me more about yourself,
Lisa
Round one. He was still communicating with women online. Upper cut to the gut.
Her middle finger reluctantly doubled-clicked the second message.
Chauncey,
Thanks for the picture. You are very handsome. And yes I’d love for us to meet. We’d have to find someplace in the middle since I’m in New York and you’re in Maryland. But I’m game if you are. You seem like such an intelligent brother; different from most guys I’ve met online. Looking forward to hearing from you.
Paula
Round two. He was making dates. Right hook to the temple.
She slumped in the chair, the fists inside her body pounding harder. She wanted to stop. Throw the mouse across the room. Turn back time.
Somethin’ about him ain’t right.
He’s too comfortable with other women.
There was no turning back.
She clicked open the next email.
Hi baby,
I miss you so much. But, I’ve been thinking and I have to be honest with you, I don’t think this long distance relationship is going to work. Too many lonely nights. I’m on the West Coast, you’re on the East Coast, that’s just too much distance. I keep thinking about your last visit. Our lovemaking was so passionate. I get hot just thinking about it. But I need more than memories. I need the real thing and I need it more than once every few months. Call me so we can talk about it.
Love, Brenda
Round three brought a combination. Left jab. Straight right. Left hook. Emotionally, she was out for the count.
“You bastard!” Nicole screamed, tears gushing down her face.
Jay ran downstairs.
“Mommy, what’s the matter?” he asked, a look of fear taking over his small face.
“I’m sorry baby. I didn’t mean to scare you. Everything’s fine. Go back upstairs, okay.”
“Why were you yelling like that?”
“I just got some bad news that’s all. I was upset, but it’s all right.”
Jay went back to his room and Nicole opened the rest of the emails.
The jabs came so fast she felt like Mike Tyson in the ring with Evander Holyfield. Not the 1997 bout when Mike went cannibalistic and bit Holyfield’s ear. The 1996 fight when Holyfield staggered Tyson into the ropes and pounded him until the refer
ee stopped his beat down in the eleventh round.
Nicole needed her corner. She dialed Candace’s number. Her soror would give her an I-Told-You-So lecture, but she would also be the sister she needed.
After Candace arrived, Nicole calmed down and they went through Chauncey’s personal email account. It wasn’t hard to figure out his password – Jaguar– the tattoo on his arm.
“Girl, do you believe this? It’s ridiculous,” Nicole said. “He’s got at least a hundred emails in here.”
“Ain’t this how you met his triflin ass?” Candace asked.
“You know it is.”
“Well, he’s got it so good with you, he probably figured he could have it this good everywhere.”
“What are you trying to say, Candy?”
“I’m not trying to say anything, Nikki. C’mon. You made it easy for the guy. You moved him in, swallowed all that poetic bullshit he laid on you, let him get away with a minimum cash layout, and for months now, he’s been taking all these trips out of town with no money to show for it. That nigga would’ve had to show me the damn money a long time ago.”
Candace’s words pricked Nicole like a thorn. She shook her head, acknowledging the role she played in her betrayal.
She exhaled. “I can’t argue with you. You’re right. The signs were all around and I just refused to see them. You know what’s funny? Last night we got into it over money and I came in here this morning to print our expenses. I wanted to show him how much I pay around here.”
“Is that why his punk ass ain’t here?” Candace asked, still reading the emails.
“I don’t know. He was gone when I got up. He claims he sees a client on Saturdays. It’s probably one of his girlfriends. This is the same computer I used to meet him and he’s been using it to find other women.”
“So you think this Atlanta trip is really a pamper party?”
“Who knows? He’s probably got some Internet date down there.”
Candace logged off and shut down the computer. “Now that you know the truth. What are you going to do?”
“Kick him out, of course,” Nicole said.
“What if he begs for your forgiveness and promises never to do it again?”
“Girl, please. I’ve played the fool long enough.”
“That’s what I wanna hear.”
Candace had to go, so Nicole hugged her friend and walked her to the door.
“Be strong girl. You know men start crying and acting all emotional promising to change when a sista gets hip to their shit. Don’t let him wear you down. When he tells you he’s sorry, tell him he’s right and show his ass the door.”
“I hear you,” Nicole said quietly.
“I want you to do more than hear me. You heard me two years ago when I told you there was something shady about his ass.”
Nicole closed the front door and dragged herself to the fireplace in her living room where photos decorated the mantle. Among the formal portraits of Jay, pictures of her parent’s wedding and her college graduation, was a snapshot of her and Chauncey taken a few weeks after he moved in.
She stared at the image of the happy couple, lost in her own smile, remembering when ignorance was bliss.
Then her eyes turned to Chauncey who was flexing his muscles in a string tank. She noticed something mischievous about his smile.
A brew of mixed emotions began to bubble inside Nicole as the last two years flashed through her mind like a movie.
Guilt. Love. Anger. Lust. Shame. Combined, they equaled pain.
Nicole began to shake. The picture fell from her hands.
Why had she been so blind?
Jay was only a baby when she left his father. How would he handle Chauncey disappearing from his life? How would she?
She dropped to the floor, curled into a ball and released her pain in a torrent of tears.
Chapter Sixteen
“Y’all don’t hear me saints,” the reverend shouted, seeking validation from his audience.
A chorus of “amens” rang from the congregation. “Say a word,” shouted a heavy-set woman in the front pew wearing a watermelon suit and matching hat. She was waving a paper fan, blowing the tall feathers on her hat back and forth.
Nicole, who was sitting with Jay in the pew behind her, could barely see.
But that didn’t stop her from shouting praises. “Hallelujah. Thank You, Jesus,” Nicole cried.
The spirit in the church was high. The good reverend, trapped in a heavy, blue velvet robe adorned with gold velour crosses on each side, had titled his sermon, “Come Ye Out From Among Them.” He called on the saints to stop hanging out with sinners.
He jumped up and down in the pulpit, blowing saliva into the microphone with each word and wheezing like an asthmatic.
At one point, he had been so excited; he got wrapped up in the microphone cord and almost fell from the pulpit.
“Too many of y’all saints dwell in unholy places where sin reigns supreme,” he hollered. “You think you strong enough – mmmmmhmmmmm – to withstand temptation – aha – but you’re not. You come to church once a week – ‘cause I don’t see but a few of ya on Wednesday and Friday nights – so you come on Sunday and get spiritual and then you go back out in the world and hang out with sinners. You get your entertainment from the world! Your values, your priorities from the world!”
The “amens” and “hallelujahs” got louder.
“You ain’t s’posed to dance to gospel music in the nightclub, saints. Lawd, help me. If you don’t know, now you know. You can’t get the lyrics from the Bible and the music from the world. It’s a contradiction!”
After the sermon, Nicole found herself at the altar. She brought Jay with her and held his hand as the preacher smeared consecrated, holy oil on their foreheads.
“What is it that you want the Lord to do for you today, my sister?” he asked.
“I want him to remove Satan from our lives,” Nicole whispered in his ear.
“Do you mean you want the power to overcome Satan, because the devil is always going to try and tempt you?”
“That too. But I’ve been living with Satan and I want him out of my life.”
She bowed her head and raised her free hand as the minister prayed for them. Black, mascara-streaked tears rolled down her face as she let go and let God.
Nicole put Donnie McClurklin’s “Live in London” in the CD player and turned to “We Fall Down,” the sinner’s national anthem, as she pulled out of the church parking lot, singing along and crying the tears of a woman redeemed.
She planned to rid Lucifer from her life that night.
Chauncey was supposed to be home around nine. He would be surprised to find that he couldn’t get in because she had changed the locks.
She’d also obtained a restraining order and told the neighbors to call the police if they saw him near the house.
Halfway home, the cell rang.
“Miss Harris?”
“Yes.”
“This is Donna Blake, your neighbor from across the street. You gave me your number in case of an emergency?”
“Yes, Ms. Blake. Is there a problem?”
“Well, I’m not sure. I just got back from church and I saw Mr. Cockfield’s truck in your driveway. I didn’t see your car, so I assumed you weren’t home and I thought you should know.”
“Thank you, Ms. Blake. Thank you, very much. I appreciate your help.”
“Would you like me to call the police?”
“No, thank you. I can take it from here.”
Nicole turned the car around and drove Jay to Candace’s house. She had planned to bring him later that day, but Chauncey’s early arrival forced a change in plans.
She had told her son she was breaking up with Chauncey, explaining vaguely that, “Things just didn’t work out.”
“I gotta go home and deal with this now,” Nicole told a surprised Candace.
“You shouldn’t go alone. I can get my sister to watch Jay and go
with you.”
“Are you sure?”
“Girl, please. I can’t wait to see the look on that snake’s face when he finds out he’s busted.”
Nicole was a bundle of nerves, so Candace drove her Jeep.
When they pulled in front of Nicole’s town house, Chauncey was sitting on the steps, reading his Bible.
“Look at that bastard,” Candace said. “Nikki, I don’t care what line of bull he gives you, you are throwing him out. You hear me?”
They both got out of the Jeep. Nicole stomped over to Chauncey, the heels of her pumps clicking hard against the sidewalk. Her beige, satin pants made a swooshing sound from the friction of her thighs rubbing against each other.
Candace stood by the Jeep, one hand on her hip, the other in her pocket, holding a can of mace.
“How was church, daahling?” Chauncey put down the Bible and waved at Candace. She ignored him.
He stood up and reached out to hug Nicole. She stepped back, folding her arms across her chest.
“Great. How was Atlanta?”
He sighed. “Things didn’t go well at all. We barely made enough to pay for our expenses. Why are you pulling away from me sweetie? And what is wrong with Candace. Cat got her tongue?”
“Why aren’t you asking me why your keys don’t work, Chauncey? Aren’t you the least bit worried about why you can’t get in the house?”
“I figured you would explain.”
“You’re unbelievable. You come home and find out I had the locks changed and you just stand there cool, calm, and collected.”
“Would you have me get upset and lose control? What purpose would that serve? I take it this is about the household expenses again?”
She unfolded her arms and began shouting.
“No, Chauncey. This is about MrFun2Know, Mr. Good Body and Mr. Massage4U. It’s about all your other girlfriends. Lisa, Nina, Brenda, Cynthia, Arianna.”